so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
