i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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