so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
