Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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