just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
