I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
