i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We have started to decorate penises.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
