will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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