doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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