I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
