If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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