well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
