not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
