Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i wish my penis had a tongue
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We left the knife in your bed.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
