this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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