Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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