My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
