My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
