um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
