Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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