We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
