Can Purell be used as lube?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
