You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
