No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
