Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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