physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
