I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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