The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
this hospital has no fireball
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
