Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
