i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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