How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
