every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
