just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
