i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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