Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
