All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
