okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
