Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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