1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
