What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
