If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
