girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
