I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
