that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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