mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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