you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
