So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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