So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
