aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
