So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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